Okay, here is my confession.
I have been telling myself I was going to start exercising again for approximately one solid month. One month of very sincere intentions, very comfortable chairs, and absolutely zero movement.
Dang it, me.
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Here is what was actually happening: it wasn't the exercising that was stopping me. It was the anticipation of exercising. My brain had already decided it would be horrible. I would hate it. I would get sweaty and miserable and, worst of all, what if I started and then quit again? Because that would make me a certified, card-carrying LOSER... sigh.
So instead I just... didn't start. Very efficient system, honestly.
My joints were aching (fingers, wrists, elbows, back - the whole crew showing up uninvited). My clothes were uncomfortable. My scale is broken but let's just say I have a feeling about what it would tell me. And I knew - I absolutely KNEW - that moving my body would fix most of this. I just could not make myself do it.
The last time I hit this wall I joined the Y, went three times a week, lost the weight, and promptly never went back. Very inspiring story.
So this time we are trying something different.
The Stupidly Small Start That Actually Worked
Before I sat down to write this post, I did one thing.
One 10-second plank. On my runner rug. (Which is washable, by the way, because we have dogs, and I still cannot get over the miracle that is a rug you can put in the washing machine. Get it here... you're welcome.)
That's it. That was my whole workout. Ten seconds, on the rug, done.
And here's the thing - it was fine. I don't even mind planks. They feel like the least aggressive form of exercise in existence and the whole thing takes, at maximum, two minutes of my life. Clutch your pearls.
So that is my goal right now. Do planks every day and work up to two minutes. Not run a 5K. Not join another gym. Two minutes of planking on a washable rug.
This feels manageable. This feels like something I might actually do.
The Other Thing I'm Doing (And It Involves True Crime)
Here is where it gets good.
I only watch two things: LawTube and true crime on YouTube. This is my personality now and I have accepted it fully.
And it turns out you CAN exercise while watching people discuss cold cases. Who knew!
I have tiny two-pound weights (they are adorable, truly - very small, very non-threatening) sitting right next to my lovely chair. When I'm transitioning between videos — you know, that thirty seconds between finishing one true crime rabbit hole and falling into the next one — I do arm curls. Just a few. Nothing dramatic. No one is impressed and that is completely fine.
My friend over at Artsy Fartsy Life put together a whole list of easy exercises you can do while watching TV and honestly? It's the most realistic exercise advice I've seen in a long time. Go look. I'll wait.
Why This Might Actually Work This Time
I think the reason I always fail at "getting back into exercise" is that I treat it like a personality transplant. Like I need to become a person who loves the gym and meal preps and wakes up excited to sweat.
I am not that person. I am a person who loves her chair, her dogs, her washable rug, and her true crime YouTube.
So what if I just... worked with that?
Ten-second plank on the rug. Arm curls during the ad break. That's it. That's the whole plan.
No gym membership. No new workout clothes (though if you want them, no judgment). No schedule that requires me to be a different human being than I actually am.
Just: move a little. Then move a little more. See what happens.
I'll report back. Fingers crossed that future me is not still sitting here in the same chair having the same conversation with herself in another month.
But I don't think so. Because this time, I already started.
Ten whole seconds. On a washable rug.
Let's do this thing!
Are you in the "I know I should but I just can't make myself start" club with me? Email me ([email protected]) I want to know I'm not alone in this ridiculous standoff with myself!
AI Image Disclosure: I have used AI to make some or all of the images in this post! I LOVE that I can include diversity in ages and sizes to encompass all women (not just super skinny youngsters without any seasoning!)
