Artsy Fartsy Life

  • Crafts
  • Recipes
  • Self-Care
  • Holidays
  • Freebies
  • Family
menu icon
go to homepage
  • Crafts
  • Recipes
  • Self-Care
  • Holidays
  • Freebies
  • Family
search icon
Homepage link
  • Crafts
  • Recipes
  • Self-Care
  • Holidays
  • Freebies
  • Family
×
Home » Caregiver

Dementia Caregiver PTSD... It is a real thing!

Published: May 20, 2019 · Modified: Oct 30, 2019 by Tara Jacobsen

857 shares
  • Share
  • Flipboard

Caring for any sick person is hard, but the special feature of memory loss can make it even more stressful for Alzheimers or dementia caregivers! No real tips or ideas, just maybe a little real life talk to keep you going.

Dementia Caregiver PTSD... It is a real thing!

My Caregiver Story

If you haven't read any of my other dementia posts, here is a quick rundown of how our Mom got sick (she is actually my Mother In Law, my husband's Mom).

A while ago (maybe in her 60s) we started noticing that Mom repeated stories A LOT. But she was still super high functioning.

Then about a year ago (when she was 72) she really took a turn for the worse. We had moved back to Florida and she was living alone and still "faking it".

But I started noticing that her house was getting messier and messier and she couldn't really manage her health (she started losing a lot of weight and not eating, although she could still put away the wine like a champ).

Then she fell, came to live with us for a few weeks, had a seizure and was hospitalized for a week for detox and a massive UTI (we have SO many UTIs now!)

After spending a couple of weeks in a nursing home, Mom came back home to live with us and that is where we stand now.

She Doesn't Remember But I Do

Here is the thing about being a dementia caregiver that is uniquely horrific.

She has done lots of things that are pretty bad. She has screamed at me in stores, said hateful things, scared my husband by screeching about not going to the hospital and taken LOTS of time away from our kids caring for all her medical and emotional needs.

She tells me that she doesn't need help on the regular, while not feeding or cleaning up after herself.

She doesn't remember how sick she was in the hospital and that the doctors said she can't drink anymore, so that is an ongoing theme of complaints.

And the worst part is ... she doesn't remember most of that!

Sigh.

Because of the memory loss, all of that is gone for her and so she doesn't understand why I freak out when she won't eat, or when we have to leave her alone for even a little while, or why we object to her buying ALL THE PLASTIC FLOWERS (we just donated boxes of them a little while ago, but they are creeping back in!)

She would be horrified at some of her actions, but they are not even on her radar since they have been lost to dementia.

But I remember.

Caregiver PTSD

We adopted our kids from foster care and my little guy has PTSD (diagnosed) so I know a thing or two about how it shows up.

You might think it is screaming nightmares (sometimes) or rage, but mostly it is being stressed about everything all the time.

Being hyper vigilant in case something awful happens again and just waiting for the next horrific thing to show up.

The first time I realized that I was not "fine" was after Mom was horrible for about a week. She had a UTI and they were changing up her medicines, so it was not her fault, but that didn't make her any easier to care for...

And I wound up in the fetal position on our bed, sobbing to my husband that I couldn't do this one-more-day!

Of course I did do it one more day, in fact that was months ago, but I still have those moments of "what the hell is happening to my life!"

I KNOW, Mom is scared and doesn't understand what is happening (she has told us that).

I KNOW, I have to be stable and steady for her and my kids and help my husband deal with watching his Mom disintegrate before his eyes.

But right now I am not managing as well.

I am depressed and stressed and tired at a bone deep level.

I know I will snap out of it sometime, being a generally happy person, but this is hard and so darn sad.

So I am taking my own advice and have started a new art project, you might want to garden, attend church or go out with friends, but for sure find some way to do something that makes you happy today!

If you are looking for ways to feel better too here are 23 Fun Ways To Battle Dementia and Alzheimers Caregiver Burnout

More Alzheimers Caregiver Posts

23 Fun Ways To Battle Dementia and Alzheimers Caregiver Burnout

As an Alzheimers caregiver it is easy to forget to care for yourself. Here are some fun ways to avoid caregiver burnout!

Why Won't Your Alzheimers or Dementia Parent Take Showers

Getting your Alzheimers parent to take a shower is a challenge. Here are some tips and ideas on how to make it easier on them (and you!)

Why Do Dementia and Alzheimers People Make Up Stories?

Whether you call it lying, telling stories or confabulation, there are some tall tales when you are caring for a dementia loved one.

Tips and Ideas To Get Your Alzheimers or Dementia Parent To Eat

Oh my gosh, the stuggle is real! Getting Mom to eat is a daily challenge. Some of my best tips and tricks for getting her to eat!

Dealing With Lying To Your Dementia or Alzheimers Loved One

This one was super hard for me and my family. Sometimes lying to your loved one is the kindest thing you can do for them.

Dementia Caregiver PTSD... It is a real thing!

More Tips & Ideas for Alzheimer and Dementia Caregivers

  • 9 Dignity-Saving Products for Elderly Bathroom Accidents
    9 Dignity-Saving Products for Elderly Bathroom Accidents
  • Elder Care Tips For Aging Parents: 11 Ways to Make It Easier (On Everyone!)
    Elder Care Tips For Aging Parents: 11 Ways to Make It Easier (On Everyone!)
  • 10 Things Only an Alzheimers Caregiver Truly Understands
    10 Things Only an Alzheimers Caregiver Truly Understands
  • 13 Meaningful Things to Talk About with a Loved One with Alzheimer’s
    13 Meaningful Things to Talk About with a Loved One with Alzheimer’s
Jacobsen Family!

Welcome!

Here to show that being a "sandwich" Mom and caregiver doesn't have to be all doom and gloom… let's have some fun with the madness! Tips and ideas for how to care for your kids, parents and self! Let's share some laughs and just try to make it out alive!

More about me

Contact Me!

Artsy Fartsy Life
Tara L. Jacobsen, PA
tara (at) marketingartfully.com
(727) 415-9165 (text please)

Footer

↑ back to top

About

  • Policies & Disclaimer
  • Contact
  • About Me
  • Gallery

Have Fun!

  • Sign Up For Freebies
  • Freebie Library
  • Classes
  • Buy My Art!

Topics

  • Crafts
  • Recipes
  • Storage
  • Caregiver
  • Family

Copyright © 2025 Tara L. Jacobsen, PA | Artsy Fartsy Life